Fall in Love with Yourself
Loving yourself goes deeper than just loving your look, or your new clothes, or your possessions. It is accepting and approving of yourself completely and giving up the need for approval from others. It is feeling comfortable in your own skin, flaws and all. Most of all, having a high self-regard. Knowing you are worthy, deserving and that you are significant.
I have seen a pattern in my clientele of having a lack of self-esteem, and an obsession over external approval, especially with social media. Often times our self-worth stems from our childhood conditioning and trauma that may have occurred. I believe it is important to address the belief systems that have been programmed within us during our earliest years. When we are young, we take everything in our subconscious, as literal. Simple comments like "I can't believe you failed that test" or "stop crying, be quiet" and the shaming that often comes with it, can have serious consequences to a young child's belief about themself. That little child might think or come to the conclusion "I am a failure" or "I'm not important" or "I am stupid". These beliefs about oneself may stay with us, and negatively affect us, our whole life. We must reprogram the subconscious mind and reframe those moments of emotional overwhelm or shame, to create a more positive internal belief system, and therefore, more confidence and self-love. Once we release those anchors that hold us back, and those limiting self-beliefs, we can form new, more valid thoughts and feelings of self-love, self-compassion, and self-trust, so they become a flawless part of who we are. With hypnotherapy we can instill new beliefs and release outdated ways of thinking, and that inner critic, so you feel more LOVE, presence, harmony, and wholeness.
Without self-love you lack that supreme confidence in knowing you are valuable, unique, and able to provide the basic needs and desires for yourself. You may rely on others for evidence of your value and self-worth and even continue to question evidence when it is shown to you. This feeling of inadequacy or low self-worth may hinder your relationships, your work productivity, your creativity, your emotional independence and so forth... It is not ego-based or selfish to think of yourself first, or to develop and maintain a healthy love for the amazing being that you are. Cultivating self-love may take time, but it is so worth the journey! When you can respect yourself, love yourself, and think of YOU first, you are a better person for your partner, your friends, your family, your colleagues and as valuable intricate piece of this complex world.
5 tips for Falling in Love with YOURSELF
1. Pay attention to yourself in a different kind of way & update subconscious programming.
Learn about your patterns of reacting, that inner critic, highly charged emotions and the triggers involved. When you start to TUNE inwards, you can start to make some significant changes and release those false beliefs. Commit to learning about your emotions and use self-care tools to cope with the everyday stresses in life, so you can keep that inner harmony. If you notice triggers, and unhealthy patters of reacting or responding, consider 1:1 therapy with a trained therapist. It is so important to make these transformations on a deep level so they "stick". Deep rooted trauma, fears, and unresolved emotions may need a facilitator to assist in resolving them and to detach from our past conditioning and create more room for LOVE to grow within. This exploration requires some self-compassion. Hypnosis is one brilliant resource you may want to try.
2. Express yourself!
Honor your thoughts, feelings, and ideas; let them flow up and out. If something doesn't feel right, don't be afraid to say how you feel. Remember to put YOU FIRST. It is ok to say "no". It is ok to say "yes". It is ok to say, "I don't know". Listen to your intuition and speak your truth. You will feel so powerful and liberated afterwards. It is also alright if your opinion is different than others. Speak up, say what you feel with conviction and honor what feels right for you. You are more powerful than you think!
3. Do things that nurture your soul & bring joy to your life.
Keep busy with healthy activities, your interests, hobbies and your passion projects. Nurturing yourself may also take some introspection. You may need to discover what bring you a sense of joy, what gets you into that "flow" state, what makes you smile... Perhaps blocking off time in your calendar to go for a nature walk or visit with a friend works for you. Whatever it is, create time for YOU. soak up all that goodness. What are you passionate about? Step into that passion, live it, feel it, sense it... it is yours.
4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable & ACCEPT YOURSELF.
Sometimes truly loving yourself is hard work. You have to be able to look at yourself more deeply and find ways to ACCEPT all the parts of you, that make you who you are. Honor and love them, all parts of you! You may have to feel some pain and take responsibility for some things. We all have some wounded parts that need to be healed and/or validated. Rather than running away from the uncomfortable feelings, turn into them, feel them, let them come up and out, this way they don't become blocked within you. All feelings will pass, they are temporary and constantly changing, and they are also very informational. Become an observer to those inner judgements and negativity, then imagine them passing by like clouds in the sky. Positive affirmations really help too!
5. Write a love letter to yourself.
Just write whatever comes up, like a flow of consciousness, keeping it abundantly filled with your awesomeness. Journaling is a wonderful therapeutic tool to get things out, and also express your creativity and open up that beautiful imagination of yours. Tell yourself how amazing you are, how much you've overcome, how powerful and brave you are, how unique you are, and so forth. Have this inner dialogue with yourself, connect with your HIGHEST SELF and trust yourself. A forgiveness letter may be helpful too!
As you begin to enrich your life by getting to KNOW yourself and this gentle EXPLORATION as well as deep inner TRANSFORMATIONAL work, you will cultivate LOVE to a whole other degree. Falling in love with yourself gives you power; you become the person you truly are meant to be... this is your love-filled authenticity. Standing strong in your integrity and building that unconditional love for yourself.
You DO matter, you DO make a difference, you are LOVED!